Pirates stole my booty!!! (A Not So Mini Mini Review)

Mini Review: Pirates 2, an otherwise cardboard ride, was saved from sinking by Johnny Depp's Jack Sparrow and Bill Nighy's Davey Jones characters because the effects go without saying are okay... although the ending CG shot was as blue screened as the reviews for this forced sequel. Now with those sad facts out of the way, Pirates 2 leaves an audience stranded at sea or forced to walk the plank in accepting a trilogy like sequel they didn't ask for. This ship, errr franchise, was apparently forced to sail for nothing more then greed inspired booty. After Pirates 1 surprised the box office, despite the many holes to its sails, we were forced to happily accept Johnny's Sparrow having saved us from an otherwise lack luster Hollywood picture and from the bad acting of poster boy Orlando Bloom and pouty lipped Keira Knightley whose careers are in a bit of a tailspin at the moment and rightfully so. And no, Pride and Prejudice cannot save a career Keira fans. Don't believe me? Ask Emma star Gwyneth Paltrow. Now with Johnny Depp interested in making films for his kids and being a proven commercial hit, we are forced to witness a forced trilogy of such overkill proportions which haven't been seen since George Lucas shocked us into believing a trilogy could be killed no better then by its creator in the weak eye candy that is the new Star Wars trilogy. Depp, who rarely does wrong, is in a role we can all admit is something we cannot stop starring at and wondering, "Where has this Pirate been hidden in history?" but the plot is at times more then not felt as forced down our throats. So without wanting to spill plotlines and spoilers to this affair, here's to hoping Pirates 3 explaining plot holes in motivations, subtle mysteries and character interactions. Because I for one am hoping that Pirates 3 shed light onto all of those issues and bring me, if not all of us, back to dry land. To be kind, I will say that without Johnny's Sparrow (who I felt still didn't get most of the screen time as he should and better get in Pirates 3), Nighy's Jones and Rush's Barbossa have saved us from screaming SOS.
Eitherway... Arrr!!! maties! See you in 07 at World's End!!!

Grade: C